#awkwardly with one hand
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#Spotify#music for when you’re driving to ace hardware to buy mousetraps so you can kick out that mouse like Nick Cave says#and when you get there you give him your best friend’s phone number bc you unfortunately have it memorized and he goes to ace hardware all#the time for work#and the guy on the register squints at you and confirms the very male name on the screen#and you resist the urge to squeak out an excuse and just confirm#and then you stop by aldi on the way back and buy two tubs of Greek yogurt and two bottles of synergy kombucha#bc even though you brew your own and actually have way more than you could possibly handle rn bc it’s so hot in your house#you are a sucker for limited edition flavors and it will cause you to spend $8 on kombucha#so you buy pomelo lemonade and cherry coconut lemongrass#which is the summer flavor named unity or something#and you usually get one every year#but you still feel ridiculous walking out of aldi with two tubs of yogurt and two bottles of kombucha and nothing else even though no one#you know sees you even though west ********* is crawling with acquaintances#and then you get back in your car and you’re proud of the rare burst of executive function which allowed you to finally put the new battery#in your car keys even though you stole the battery from target like two months ago you just couldn’t figure out how to open the damn thing#and the convenience is novel and you think wow maybe I should injure my ribcage more often if it’s forcing me to take care of all these#tiny tasks like buying mousetraps and replacing your key battery and cooking figs in honey et cetera#and you drive down the hill and see low clouds snagging in the blue ridge mountains and feel alright for a moment#and go to the scratch and dent where you buy butter and a couple 33¢ seltzers and a diet ginger ale as a lil treat#and when you get back home you drop it on the gravel road and the ginger ale begins to leak out so you put your mouth to it even though the#thought of what nonsense is on the outside of the can from the manufacturing and shipping process lingers#and by the time you get to the kitchen and pour it over ice in a mason jar it’s fairly flat from the burst of bubbles when you poured it#awkwardly with one hand#and you drink what remains on the porch where it’s a post-rain subdued sky sort of dusk#and you think about how much it’s gonna hurt to leave and how you have no other option because of how entwined you’ve become with someone#who is the entire city and the entire vast forest and possibly the entire ecological region#and then you’re still hungry so you eat some meal prepped overnight oats that were for tomorrow morning. the end#journal
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Uhh yeah aroace Dark Cacao is real
#you can pry aroace dark cacao out of my cold dead hands#Hes one of my top favorites now hence why he gets the ace-ification#he’s just awkwardly watching them make out#he’s used to it so dw#(I kinda see him as a third-wheeler in both couples)#crk fanart#crk art#cr kingdom#crk#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#dark cacao crk#pure vanilla crk#hollyberry crk#golden cheese crk#golden cheese cookie#hollyberry cookie#pure vanilla cookie#dark cacao cookie#pure vanilla x white lily#white lily x pure vanilla#hollyberry x golden cheese#golden cheese x hollyberry#dark cacao x no one lmao#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#skyxiio art
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omg where'd you get your top it looks like it would fall apart after one cycle in the wash
#i need you to imagine my very specific vision for yakumo piggybacking on eiden ok:#eiden is such a playful lil scamp so idk one day he wants to test his strength by carrying yakumo#yakumo's always carrying passed-out-eiden after marathon sex sessions so. how heavy can a vertical noodle possibly be#but yakumo's scared he's too heavy or that he'll be too awkwardly shaped (whatever that means) for eiden to carry#so while eiden is crouched down in front of yakumo beckoning him to climb aboard#yakumo stiffly positions himself . but . his feet barely leave the ground#and their bodies aren't touching much.. as in#yaku's knees are gripping at eiden's midsection instead of scooching up close#because he doesn't want his crotch right up against eiden's back LOL#and he's very lightly touching eiden's shoulders with his hands#but since yakumo's body is so distant/unevenly perched.. it actually makes it tougher for eiden to carry him#so eiden has to coax yakumo into getting MUCH CLOSER against his body#'come on . right up against my back. it'll make it easier!!'#'no need to be shy 😏😙'#'that's right! now put your arms around my neck. there we go!!'#after yakumo loosens up and loses rock posture... he indeed becomes easy to carry#so eiden gets to strut around proudly with a yakumo on his back for a bit#this whole thing was inspired by me wanting to see oli bridal carry yakumo LOL#it would be sooooooo easy . oli is sooo strong and yakumo sooo flimsy. just scoop him up. kiss his forehead#tbh he could lift yakumo one handed but the bridal carry is more comfortable and oli is Considerate#then when i had oli AND eiden carrying yaku in my head.. i started imagining the others#something about.... yakumo being tossed around by bottoms#fills me with unprecedented amounts of delight#GARU!! SPIKE HIM ONTO THE GROUND LIKE THE ALMONDBALL#yakuoli#yakuei#yakumond#yakugaru#yakukaru
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get fucked
#if you have a gun and all i get is a piece of rope youre damn sure im gonna use whatevers at hand to get back at you#also why is troy baker so tall#death stranding#sam porter bridges#higgs monaghan#i finished the game but he still keeps asking me for pizza#just brought him the anniversary gouda ones with the champagne#i just imagine him sitting on his shitty little cot with two black eyes crying and eating his pizza#or sam awkwardly walking into the shelter with the door open and everything and just leaving the packages on the lift#ignoring the sobbing coming from the basement#i did get the cool handgun. thanks. enjoy your pies#and champagne
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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Fic where through Rocket Corp Shenanigans and/or Orange Power Craziness, the Color Gang, TCO and Victim all get spat out into the human world, where Alan then has to reveal to his wife that surprise! Living stick figures are real, he's made living stick figures, two of them don't like him, and one of those two is actively trying to kill him, while the other five see him as their Dad.
All while trying, and just barely succeeding, in wrangling a very ferally angry Victim who is trying his hardest to inflict great bodily harm onto Alan despite Alan being literally five times his size while the others are panicking trying to figure out how to help. Except for TCO, who is just WAITING for Alan accidentally drop Victim so he can return the favor of the Box beatdown.
And Kaori, who Alan never told that his animations were based on real events and real living stick figures, is just sitting there watching this lunacy like this:
#Alan Becker#animator vs animation#ava#Victim gets shoved into a cat carrier to keep him away from Alan#This does not stop him from trying mind you; it only pisses him off more#Alan has to grab TCO to stop HIM from beating the shit out of (and quite possibly killing) Victim which TCO also does NOT appreciate#Neither does Alan's hands which get a little toasty from the fire#Orange and RGYB are just watching the chaos tbh They're smart enough to not Get Involved#At least until things settle down and THEN they demand Alan's attention#Which is very awkward for Alan because Kaori is looking at him with a expression that demands he explain and QUICKLY#This situation is made even more awkward for Alan if he never told the Skittles Squad he was married; like they had ZERO IDEA she existed#Extra hilarious if Alan never kept it a secret from his YouTube audience that Orange and the Gang really existed#Because that would imply that Alan's own wife doesn't watch his animations and/or commentary videos lmao#Alan takes the idea of separating work and his personal life to the extreme#No one ever includes Kaori in anything & while I know the reason for it I feel like we're sleeping on some hilarious ideas involving her#Alan sending pleading looks to TCO: Please don't mention the enslavement thing please don't mention the enslavement thing--#Alan awkwardly: So uh honey d'you wanna adopt seven stick figure kids...? Kaori: That is not the most pressing issue right now Alan!#Kaori: That one is trying to kill you. Alan: I can fix him. Victim: No you can't.
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i could give you guys my ArtFight, but that means I'd be destroying the barrier between 2 entirely different universes thus causing them to collide and i just dont know if im strong enough for that
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Watched the annual Sports Gala earlier tonight and got inspired by all the sparkly outfits ✨
#hetalia#aph norway#hws norway#idrettsgallan 2023#soooo happy to see more events like this being moved outside of Oslo 😩😩#Trondheim deserves more attention here - incredible to see so many famous athletes gathered under one roof#and other celebrities - Åge and Roar Strand handed out a price together!! 😭😭#and all the hype like “if it's one thing Trøndelag knows - it's to throw a party” etc. with the stereotypes#and the interviewer awkwardly singing “rai rai” - plsssss can we see somthing else - this is getting old#but overall an amazing event - Ramm did great as expected and the features were not too bad#really highlighted the “idrettsglede”/“joy of sport” and how important it is for the nation#the outfit I put Norway in is greatly inspired by Sissel Kyrkjebø's outfit during her performance of “Se Ilden Lyse” ✨
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(comically late) valentines day falkler doodles
#signalis#signalis falke#signalis adler#what i mean is that most of these were drawn around/on valentines day but im just posting them here now!#anyways#i filled my bulletjournal and ive been using a sketchbook i got for my birthday#the covers cute but the paper is so SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my pencil glides across it kinda awkwardly . and the texture reminds me of slightly thicker humid printer paper#i also find it a bit difficult to really get a wide arrange of shades w a pencil like i did w the bullet journal (though this may just be a-#-skissue .. i am honestly a bit heavy handed when i draw)#anyways ive been thinking about buying another bullet journal cause i really liked these ones ….#they have little ribbon bookmarks and a little pocket to keep papers n things which i greatly enjoued …. hmmmmmmmmmmm#myth.sketches
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dave "the only touch i know is my older brother's violence" strider and jade "i've long forgotten what the touch of another human being's felt like" harley both being lonely best friends struggling with their touch starvation but maneuvering through it and healing from it with each other's guidance and company
#xi#davejade#dave putting up walls to hide his starvation from everyone else#jade softly knocking at the walls hes put up and waiting for him patiently until he feels ready to let her in#even if waiting a thousand years for him meant letting her touch starvation grow hungrier and consume her completely#dave finally letting jade in but bit too late and now jades been left waiting and starved for too long. she just misses the warmth of a hug#dave hating the sight of his best friend so... sad and weak and tries to awkwardly hold her even if he doesn't know what a real hug is like#dave tentatively reaching out for jades hand for a few moments before his own starvation gives in and pulls her in for an abrupt embrace#its awkward. very. dave hugs jade with his elbows pointed out weirdly and with his hand hanging in the air not knowing where to rest itself#but once jade hugs back by looping her arms around him and pulling him close all the tension disappears between them and it feels just righ#just. the thought of both of them being just right for one another. willing to sacrifice themselves for each other.#your honor i love them
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I love animation errors
Dragon is not holding that. It's just casually stabbing him through the palm
#animation errors are the best#its so unnoticeable until you see it#just his hand awkwardly clipping thru the weapon#i forgot what its called#one piece#monkey d. dragon#one piece smoker#monkey d. luffy
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ok ok so... AU where Gareth is Steve’s younger brother??
Because Steve has ‘only child’ written all over him, but I think it would be fascinating if he had a sibling, especially a younger one. Gareth is the black sheep of the family, likes the wrong sort of music, hangs out with the weird kids, plays that game all the news stations are saying is satanic. He’s three years younger than Steve, just a bit too much for them to ever be close, but really it’s their parents who drive a wedge between them. Steve’s their golden child. Good at sports, dating that Wheeler girl their parents love. He’s the poster boy for the all american teenager. In the eyes of their parents, Steve can do no wrong. Gareth stays out after his curfew? Grounded for two weeks. Steve throws a party when his parents are gone? Just don’t do it again, okay? Needless to say the Harrington boys don’t really get along. Gareth is pissed that Steve gets away with everything. That their parents seem to actually like him, parade him around in front of their friends, keep his sports throphies on a shelf in the living room. When Gareth won a contest in middle school for a short story he wrote his parents didn’t even bat an eye. He keeps the little plaque he got for it in the bottom of his sock drawer, embarrased that he even cares. Within the walls of their house, Gareth doesn’t even get to be himself without feeling judged. Steve on the other hand can’t help but envy his little brother. He’d never mention it of course, if anyone asks he can’t stand the little twerp. But it’s hard to miss that Gareth actually knows who he is. He has an opinion for himself and doesn’t seem to care how their parents feel about that. Steve can barely pick a shirt without worrying if their mother would approve. Gareth has friends who clearly care about him, a group of self proclaimed freaks who all clearly hate Steve. He has hobbies he actually likes and ideals he cares about. So yeah... Steve’s kinda jealous sometimes. Especially after Nancy breaks his heart. When he doesn’t get into college and his parents approval runs dry. When he can’t make it through a family dinner without questions about whatever happened to his potential. All the years of trying to impress their parents weren’t even worth it. And now the little brats he babysits have started high school and they won’t shut up about how cool his little brother is.
When both Steve’s status and his mental health start to slip, Gareth can’t help but feel a little bit bad. People don’t respect his older brother the way they used to and their parents no longer give a fuck about either of them. Good thing Gareth has years worth of experience being an outcast and a friend group that’s more than a little curious to find out whatever happened to the King of Hawkins High...
#stranger things#steve harrington#stranger things gareth#stranger things au#i just feel like there's a lot of potential here hmm...#someone pls write this i have so many wips it's getting out of hand lol#Gareth invites all of hellfire over one weekend when their parents aren't home#and steve just kinda awkwardly sits there#cause the kids are happy to see him and keep trying to involve him#but steve's never felt so out of place#that whole 'rivalry' thing the duffers wanted between steve and eddie#but it's steve and his little brother gareth lol#but eddie's still there#you know...#in case this au needs some romance...
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This user has gone zero days without imagining Ed Teach naked except for Stede's robe, face buried in a pillow that still smells like Stede's hair, tears on his face as he brings himself off thinking not about Stede's body or his touch, but the way he'd said, "You make Stede happy" and the gentle clasp of their hands.
#OFMD#Edward Teach#Gentlebeard#I'm never not imagining Ed Teach sadsturbating btw#Izzy can be there if you want. perched awkwardly on the end of the bed. hand gripping Ed's ankle.#Gentlebeardies I am not one of you but I respect your beliefs
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thinking about remus being a dadda's boy when he was little but as he grew up he realized how lyall was drifting away bc of the guilt he felt whenever he looked at remus so remus became a mamma's boy in his teenage years
#listen#i love the lupins so much <33#i want them to be cozy & happy & warm in their cute little cottage somewhere in the welsh countryside with their goats & cows & chickens#but also#lyall feeling the immense guilt of remus' condition bc it WAS his fault and no amount of convincing from hope can make him think otherwise#and he lives in constant fear that one day his little boy will realize what an idiot lyall is and he'll grow to hate him and resent him#and he can't live with that#and remus can feel him pullimg away little by little until lyall is no longer there the morning after a full moon#it's just him and his mom and she's scrubbing the grime and the blood from his hair and she's singing some old song to make him feel better#and remus' hand is twitching as it rests on the side of the bathtub. he wants his father there. he wants lyall to hold him#it's heartbreaking because remus thinks lyall is drifting away bc of his lycanthropy. he thinks lyall sees him as a monster#and that lyall can't love him anymore because of what he is#he brings it up to sirius at some point in their hogwarts years and sirius doesn't know what to say#until he meets lyall and sees how softly he looks at remus. how he pats his back awkwardly because he doesn't know what else to do#and he pulls remus aside and tells him he has nothing to worry about#bc sirius knows what a father that doesn't care. doesn't love looks like. lyall is the opposite of that#remus lupin#lyall lupin#hope lupin#the lupins
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OLD MEN WERE TEMPTING ME...........
#the concert has ended. christ alive#full review and thoughts incoming whenever i get around to it. nevermind ill do it now#OLD MEN WERE TEMPTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!#going into this i thought id be fine. normal even. WRONG AGAIN!#oh adrian. how could i have forgotten the immense fondness i had for you#i didn't forget but all the Adrian Feelings came back like thats really him 🫵#hes so charmingggggggg. jesus#and i thought it was bad with spars/russell doing cocomelon shit to me last year. and that may still take the cake but#tony levin playing that funky music god you love to see it in person. which i never have!#adriannnnnnn. his smile is so infectious he radiates joy like no one else its incredible. and so so endearing#steve vai............ it seems ive grown quite fond of you. actually it was more like i was suddenly like 👁️#hes uh. well hes sure something#OH i should also discuss the meet n greet well it was very short just kinda shaking hands and saying hi (awkwardly on my part)#nice hands steve vai. moving on#ADRIAN NOTICED MY SHIRT (it was a pic of him from one of his solo albums) and he was like 'i recognize that guy!' like dhfkgkfkg#i was also lovingly squished next to ade for the photo. hes sooooooo <3 sorry im sounding like gushy 2019 me but come on its adrian#tony levin is so sweet hes like the best uncle ever. i love himmmmmmmm#his funky fingers were funking!!!!!#oh oh have to say adrian sounds INSANELY good vocally holy shit it sounds the same as the 80s. hes such an underrated singer#im soooooo wowie wow. what a show guys. if i remember more ill elaborate later but thats all for now (waitin around by the stage door)
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I actually want to cry, she’s so cute
#who gave her the right to fall asleep in my arms like a baby#me trying to awkwardly take photographs one handed with my iPad bc my phone isn’t in reach and I don’t want to move and disturb her shdhfjgk#jinx tag
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